memories that i do not want to remember anymore

urghhh. i hate to have this felling all over again. why do i have to think about this all over again and torture myself with this pain. i don't like this felling. seriosuly, if i can erase those memories, i would do it a long time ago. everytime you're anywhere near me, i'd feel this stab of hurt. *sigh* why should Abang Amin showed the freaking slide show. when i saw the pics, it feels like a long time ago, but it was just a few months ago. i hate this hurt. i don't know why i'm thinking about this all over again. i've moved on, but the memories are still here. kept in the deepest pit of my heart, locked, cause i don't want to remember it anymore. but, it has been opened all over again and i felt like crying all over again. why can't i just forget you like you're doing. why can;t i be like you? why can't i just forget everything that we've had before. we shared to many things together and i coudn't let it go that easily. but, you've moved on. you can live happily without me. because, other people can understand your problems. that's why you won't need me as your crying shoulders. yes, i'm surrounded with other people as well, but, not all of them understand how i am. not all of them can actually tahan my laser mouth. not all of them understand my problems. i guess you're the only one who understood it all, cause i shared practiacally every secret with you. when you're gone from my life, it's like my life is terumbang ambing. sometimes it's ok. but when i needed to tell anything, i have to keep it in my heart. why? cuase no one would understand this pain that i'm going through. i want to go away. i seriously do. i don't want to keep torturing my heart and soul with this memory anymore. last night, shala and i had remembered the old times. it seems like a long time ago, but it's only a few months ago. i missed you my friend. i really do. i'm trying to adapt with this loneliness. it's better to be alone sometimes. but, when you're alone everytime, you'll be insane at times. can i just run away from everything? can i just forget. i want to forget everything. i don't want this pain. can i just forget you? can i ? because, everytime i started talking about you, i'll remember every single time that we've spent together. it's a pain. lastly, i just want to say this to you my friend.

"i'm happy that you've moved on. i'm happy that you can live without me. i'm happy for you. i really do. so, i'll move on as well. cause, it's meaningless to dwell in the past. i guess i'm happy as i am right now. take care and goodbye. "

i miss you, but i have to move on as well cause you've done the same thing. so, farewell my friend. i'll try to move on although it hurts.