It All Started with a... WEYHH

I haven't known you very long, nor I had been constantly exchanging my hi's to you at the first of the semester, but how time flies eh?

The first time I saw you, I thought you were this quite girl who won't fit in with my personality. Little did I know, I judged you wayyy too fast. 

Fitting in UM was one of the hardest moments in my life, and seriously, I was at the point where I wanted to give up everything and just quit. I didn't want to study, I felt like giving up. but then, I met you. Yes, like the tittle, our close friendship did start with a WEYH; when I barged into your room at the end of semester before finals to ask you a question on Statics. One thing led to another, and a topic of Statics became a topic of family problems and it just dawned to me that OH, THIS GIRL. At that time, I regretted not getting to know you sooner, but, boy I was thankful to Allah that He had led me to being friends with you.

So, our friendship began, and we began to learn more and more about each other. And seriously babe, I have always admired your strength and loyalty in friendship. You're more selfless than I am when it comes to your friends. You let me rant to you about my problems, you cared when I was sick, you were basically there for my every needs, and for that I am forever thankful. I have a hard time trusting people and letting people in my life, but really Mun, you are those special ones whom I had let into my chained heart and I tend to keep you there forever.

Thank you, Munirah Janjori, for keeping up with my antiques. Thank you for accepting my flaws and still wants to be friends with me. Thank you for opening me up to new possibilities and thank you for always being there when I needed someone to be with.

Happy 20th Birthday babe, and I pray that Allah will shower you with all of his Good will and bless you with eternal rezq. I pray that we will meet each other again in the HereAfter, in Jannah where we can shop and hang out with each other for the rest of our lives.

I'd never want to lose you ever. 

You're like the moonlight that shines during my dark days; not being seen at all times, but there overtime. 

You're like the bridge that connects our friendship, and upholds it right everytime.

I may be mean to you, but i am mean with the people that I actually really really cherish. You taught me that best friends will stay with you through thick and thin. You'd shown me that when you had single-handedly tried to papah me when my leg was hurting, single-handedly accompanied me to the toilet, waited for me to crawl. You had no idea how grateful I am to you at that time and only Allah could repay you Mun. I hated being weak, I hated being dependent on somebody else because I had always managed alone, but being sick and unable to walk, it had scarred my ego more than anyone could ever imagine. But you, despite being tired, beside being way way smaller than I am, you had never left me ever. For once, I decided that its okay to depend on someone, and that someone is you. For once I decided that its okay to cry in front of someone, and that someone is you. For once, I decided that its okay to show my weakenesses in front of someone, and that someone is you.

Never let other people try to bring you down babe, because you have the purest heart anyone could ever imagine. I love you more than you can ever imagine, really. I don't show it, but if you must know, you are one of the first people that I would run to whenever I am happy or sad. 

May You be blessed with all the happiness in the world Munirah because you really deserve it. Love you loads babe <3 p="">

Sincerely, your one and only Comel Friend,

A'fiani Atiqah :)

My Other Half

To my dearest, sweetest and craziest best friend I'd ever known.

Its been a hell of 8 years since I've known you, and really, this month marks the first time that I met the bulat-tudung-faced you when we first set foot in SSP.

I didn't like you the first time I saw you. I was just jealous that, even though you were the new girl, you were still liked by the first intakes. As for me, although I'm loud and I talk a lot, it takes time for me to warm up with people, and we got closer when we both our desk mates won't talk to us. How time flies huh for us.

Somehow, after the infamous fight that we had, I missed you terribly. I mean, who would wait for me (who takes so long to bersiap and pakai tudung) and won't even complain. Dahlah  despite me being so peramah, most people don't really stick by me since I'm hard to understand. But you did Fatin, and I am forever indebted towards you.

Since you had been so near for the last 7 years, mid 2015 had been a challenging year for me in UM. I think I just feel my self-confidence deteriorating and the fact that I don't want to make new friends had been my constant challenge. And there's the fact that we're separated miles apart and it made me harder to adjust to a surrounding where most of my SSP friends are not around. I missed you a lot, since whenever I had a hard time in PALAM, i can always adjust a time to meet you at the cafeteria, or just melepak in your room.

I once imagined myself losing you, and boy how bad I cried that very day. You're like my other half who understands me even though I sometimes can't even comprehend myself. You're liked by many and not socially awkward and people like being friends with you. As for me, not everyone understands me as I have this tendency to become really mean to someone I cherish. I am specially mean to you, but you know how hard it is for me to express me feelings, right? haahhhahaha. I'm just not that kind of girl that can constantly say I love you and I miss you even though i feel it every day.

I know, university life had us separated by miles and theres the fact that we're busy with our own lives. but I hope, that we will still make time for each other. I suck at long-distance since I miss you everyday, but you know thats what best friends are, eh? You don't have to constantly be with me, but I know whenever I needed you, You'd ALWAYS and ALWAYS make time for me.

I thank you Fatin,
for always listening to my rants and stories
for forcing me to cry when i couldn't
for always asking if i'm okay
for always sticking by me be it hell or high water
for accepting my flaws and loving me

and for always being my best friend, sister and soul mate

I can never replace you Fatin, nor can I ever unloved you because you're not just one in a million, there's no other Fatin Nur Syahirah Bt Fadhil in this world then you.

Happy Birthday Fatin, and I pray that you'd always be cherished by your loved ones, and that Allah will always bless you with the best blessings He could ever grant His hamba. I pray that our friendship will last till jannah and I would never have to lose you again, because losing you had scarred me for life.

" You're like the sunshine that fills my dark heart with warmth
  Shining brightly as it melts down the dreadful cold
  You're like the stars up high
  Filling up the vast skies with brightness
  Although may not be seen, it is always there
  And thats what a real best friend is
  One though whose not there at all times, but is always there when you needed it.
  And I for one am thankful for the Lord
  For He has granted me with
  A soulmate thee. "

memoirs

i see you in the midst of the light
the way your body flex 
and the outline of your smile
the way you move your hands
and the way your legs shook when you're nervous
you were everything that i had ever wanted
and the one i had adored
and now the only thing that is left
is your presence
and your old yankee hat on the windowsill
and the picture of us together 
smiling and laughing like there was nothing that matters in this world
everything had turned into a memory
as the final stage of your disease took control of your body
and i was left by a last crooked smile
and the last warmth i felt on my lips
you were a memory that i cherish
and a memory that i will never forget
i blinked a few times
and you were no more there
and it dawned to me that reality is somehow cruel
but i managed a smile
for i know that you were past your pain
and you've finally found peace
and that's all that matters. 

original work by YN

am feeling emotional all of the sudden.