It depends on how you control it, How you want it to be, How Beuatiful you want your memories to be, and how you not do not want to ruin you life.
For this past few months, i was at the downside phase of my life. I was rejected so many times, at a time, i felt numb. Numb from feeling so miserable, numb for feeling stupid, numb for feeling like shit.
Excuse my language, but at one time, I can't help feeling miserable.
They pointed out, it wasn't that bad.
okay.
They pointed out, you're actually okay.
Okay.
They pointed out, don't worry the time will come.
Okay.
I didn't feel like talking to anyone. All i know, is that I want to just hide in a corner, or go somewhere really far away and stay there forever. Unfortunately, life doesn't go that way, and no matter how hard it is, I have to face it somehow.
In the midst of all the confusion, I always, always, forgot that Allah is always there. Allah never left me for anything. Its me who left Him for no good reason.
The day I realized that, is the day that I felt at ease, that rezeki comes in so many forms, that you just have to be thankful that your life is not as bad as the children in Syria, who is starving to death.
When it finally hit me, I cried again, but after that, I felt strangely at ease. I accepted life like it is. I know that I screwed up a whole lot, I make sins that I don't intend doing, but the fact that I never lost faith in Allah. I can rely on Him, cause He is the Creator of all and He knows the best for me. He knows maybe I couldn't handle the pressure. Who knows right? If its a punishment for my sins, I accepted it with an open heart, because I know, I make sins everyday, but I believe in Allah. He's the Wisest and Kindest of All. I know He did it for a reason, and now, I feel at ease.
I accepted that reality and dreams are two different things. I still have a long way to go, but hey, as long as I am still breathing with the oxygen that Allah has granted to all of us, I will use every breath I can take, to make my parents proud of me, to make my sisters be able to look up to me and say, That's My Along Right There, I want to make my aunts smile when they see me. Yes, I still want to be a Pediatrician. Yes, I still want to open up an Institution for disabled children. My dreams, they never fade. Its just that I would have to find another way to achieve it.
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Let me just point out to you people out there, When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Gets Going. Everyone has their own problems, but you know what, if you're still alive, and your family is alive, and that you're sitting there and reading this post, just know that you're actually the lucky ones. If you think your life is hard, read the wars that are going on EVERY SINGLE DAY at Palestin, the HUNGRY CHILDREN at Syria, the fights and wars that are happening all around the world. You'll think twice before taking your life away, you'll think twice before giving up on life itself. If the children there could survive and go to school despite being shot on the way there, why can't we then?
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Lastly before i end this post, appreciate the little things life has to offer. Smile to everyone although you had a bad day. Although your life is miserable, you're actually doing a good deed by smiling to other people. Breath in the fresh air, the blue skies, the sound of the pouring rain. Appreciate the people around you, love them endlessly, talk to people.Life is actually very Beautiful, Subhanallah but we're the ones who are making things miserable. Make your life worth living, because you only live once. :D
Pens off .
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